I hate when good guys fall for me

those type of guys that have been in love before and can’t wait to be in love again. so thirst and eager, like they’ve never even been hurt before. they don’t even know how to be mean to you. everything they do is sweet. everything they do is appropriate. I hate when I have to hurt them, because for some reason, I never like those guys. I wonder why a lot. I believe I don’t know how to receive good treatment. on top of that, when a guy take interest in me, I just wanna flee. it makes me nervous and paranoid in a way. I don’t know why. .. I don’t know why I don’t want a guy to get to know me thoroughly, why I won’t let them that close. (I let one soo close man. and still shook. smh. he would’ve been great for me, I admit.) I never thought a guy would find me interesting, intriguing and worth while anyways. I never saw a guy so in love with me, unconditionally love at that. for a guy to look at me and be like “wow …. she’s her. she’s Alexandria & by God, she’s all mine.” through the good & bad & ugly & uncomfortable. nah … not for me. I hate it when they fall for me though. because of this self-made fear, i’ll never allow myself to fall for them. .. and some of them feel it, some even have enough sense to know better. I can literally see a guy’s heart break in front of my eyes sometimes, the disappointment, the chill, because they fall for me anyways, every time. I hate those guys.

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