so this “bad boy” has been pretty good. we’ve still been talking. he’s still been sweet. surprised me yesterday with a teddy and tickets to the museums yesterday. it was refreshing. we walked through the natural american museum, the rose garden, and african american museum. it was romantic … and thoughtful. i had said i been wanting to go and he actually listened to me. hm, i think i’m starting to like this guy.(: but i aint telling him too much of that, tuh. and he is an asshole. lolllll. but soo sweet. that’s the crazy part.
so this high school guy I knew from hs, seems cool, but we never crossed paths, physically. we did the whole twitter & insta following and liking. he slid in my ask.fm. so I’m like, shit, like … what have I got to lose? lol. so we been texting. good convo. no creep shit. nothing about sex. invites me over, cooks … my fave breakfast😳😍 I love the little things in life so much that I become naive. it’s just thoughtful to me. had a blunt rolled already. like, fuck, he has my attention. doing shit I like. da fuq. / but whatevs. he’s got the slight “bad boy” title. I’ve seen him tear into girls via insta. like … damn. but … he’s all cool and shit. being decent. .. mhm, to be continued …
I think it’s a confidence pull when I want those “bad guys.” that’s what attracts me. but I know, nothing special will come of it, nothing long-term. nothing needed. they come with the type of baggage that I’m not equipped for. I haven’t been through a hell of a lot. I’ve been quite fortunate, in my opinion. if you’re one of those “it could be worse” type people. for some reason, I like troubled guys. Their story always interests me, I like to be the one clear thing in their life. I like to comfort people. make their life seem better than it is. be optimistic when they don’t really understand what that means. I know I can be that for people, guys. an escape, an epiphany, a safe haven. I’m quiet, peaceful. you can hear yourself around me. I embrace silence, sometimes … create it. that’s refreshing to people. so many look for ways to fill the silence instead of enduring it. it bothers most people. makes them nervous, awkward. it calms me, brings me a sense of serenity. it bounces off of me and absorbs to others. it’s a trait they admire. I don’t judge, makes a bad guy feel like he has something good, makes them feel good, like someone believes in them. like they’re not as bad as they thought. I don’t know why I like making people feel good about themselves. ..
I’m having a hard time re-initiating a situation with a person that I feel may have been good for me. and maybe still is. certain factors … I wasn’t feeling. but nothing communication couldn’t fix. but I came to a conclusion in my head and just ran instead. 😒 and I knoooow he ain’t gonna let me live it down, in a highly obnoxious manner. idk if it’s worth it.